Insecurity, fear of being judged, fear of being alone, fear of doing things alone.
You have to remember that you came into this world alone, and you will leave it alone. This is not a choice; it is simply impossible to always do everything together with someone.
Many people, especially young people, nowadays feel pressure to always be with someone and to do everything together. They are afraid that otherwise it will seem ‘loser-like.’ They feel like only losers sit alone, and they don’t want to be seen that way.
In reality, this problem goes much deeper. You might be afraid to sit alone in a crowded school cafeteria during a break because others might see you as a loser. Often, you are simply afraid of other people’s opinions. Most likely, you don’t even realize that this is the reason, or maybe you do, but you don’t want to admit it. For many people, it is difficult to admit their weaknesses. But you can train yourself to do that. Many intelligent and highly educated people are better at admitting their mistakes because they have trained themselves and are used to it.
In this blog, I can help you reduce or even completely get rid of this fear of being alone, but you also need to have the right intention yourself.
It all comes down to your mindset. Every time you start to feel that tension, remind yourself that everyone will, at some point in their life, be alone. Whether that is sooner or later, it will happen. You will die alone. What happens after your death is also something you face on your own. The sooner you realize this, the more headaches, stress, and overthinking you will save yourself from.
You also need to get rid of the constant feeling that people are watching and judging you. There is a big chance they are simply observing their surroundings, just like any normal person would do, and do not have any specific negative thoughts about you. And if you are sure that some people are judging you, ask yourself whether they are truly interesting or admirable people; people who have their lives completely under control. Nine out of ten times, this is not the case, and they are probably 30 times more insecure than you.
Life is too short to always wait for someone else to do even the simplest things together. If you choose to do an activity with someone to be more social and to connect with others, that is a different story. But if you are only doing it because you are afraid to be alone, then you are wasting your time by constantly waiting for someone else’s availability.
Don’t be afraid to do something alone just because you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing or that you might look stupid. You will learn. Maybe not the first time. Maybe not the second time. Maybe not even the fifth time, but eventually, you will figure it out. The more you try, the more you learn. Remember: everyone is living this life for the first time. No one knows 100% what they are doing.
Stay true to yourself and follow your own path. What makes sense to you may not make sense to someone else. If you avoid doing something because you are afraid of being judged, that missed opportunity will stay somewhere in the back of your mind forever. You blink once, and suddenly you are 60, reflecting on your life. Then you realize how many memories you could have made but didn’t. One of the most common and painful forms of pain is the pain of regret.
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